Sunday, February 15, 2009

Haunted by my other brain

No matter what I am doing, I always feel I should be doing something else. It's a curse. Like right now-- I feel like I should get out in the kitchen and clean up the dishes in the sink. But at the same time, it's such a nice sunny afternoon I feel like getting out of the house and doing something. But then again, I just got a book from the library yesterday that I'd like to get started on. And maybe I should make a pan of apple crisp and on and on...

It's like I am of two minds (sorta like a little devil and little angel on either shoulder) that are always in conflict. The wretched result is that I'm perpetually indecisive. It restricts my life and destroys my sense of enjoyment or accomplishment. Often I am so paralyzed with indecision that I wind up sitting on the couch staring at the TV or sitting at my computer staring at the monitor. Stupified.

For example--I've been retired for over three years now and still haven't gotten my pictures sorted and organized. The novel that I started with such gusto now seems moribund. The den still defies being uncluttered and I have a hundred folders floating around with assorted information.

Therefore, if anyone knows of a good book to read or a good saint to petition, let me know so I can get out of this rut. I'm wide open to suggestions!

4 comments:

Bevie said...

That apple crisp sounds good. Hot, with vanilla ice cream. Ummm.

Ordinary Jo said...

When I get into that indecisive frame, I use the "just do one thing" rule. I just get up, do one random thing--no matter what it is--and usually that leads to more action. If I think about the whole project or all that needs to be done in my house, I become immobile. But if I start with one piece and then take everything that remains one piece at a time, I get more done.

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

How do you eat an elephant?

ONE BITE AT A TIME.

Actually, a GOOD counselor would know what yer talking about, it could be that because too much time is now unstructured after yer retirement, you are getting tangled up in too much freedom. You know that saying, "If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it." That's because they are on a roll and just keep churning out tasks.

I would not call what you are talking about "selfish whining" or whatever other naughty label you have stuck on it. You have something troubling you, you recognize that it's there, and you are seeking a way to manage it. I would definitely attempt to add structure to my day, and I would also try to put into action the idea of "do something, even if it's wrong." Meaning, go ahead, set a timer, do 10 minutes of something such as sort pictures, even if you think only 10 minutes is wrong, it's SOMETHING. If you can, get a timer and start setting it for various tasks you keep on a list. But it's that first step, of even obtaining the timer, that is going to be the bugaboo.

Ms Sparrow said...

Thanks for the advice dear friends.
I made the apple crisp and ate it with ice cream, Bevie.
I made a list and got some things done in short order on Monday, Jo.
Penniwig, I think part of my problem is that I turn everything into an enormous project that overwhelms me. I have to abandon it when other things come along but the unfinished project keeps nagging at me and so on and so on.