When I began my blog three years ago, it was like diving into the middle of a revolution. Even though I'd never been much of a letter-writer, I thought that blogging would give me a voice. Since I've always been the typical "Minnesota-Nice" type, I rarely ever would speak up with my true feelings, I needed to vent!
Being "nice" meant that I'd stand by, seemingly mild and pleasant, while someone was spouting the most inflammatory, despicable garbage. Of course, I would always beat myself up afterwards for being such a spineless wimp. And worse, I'd carry around a load of rage at the offender--but Lord knows, my demeanor was always mild and pleasant.
I'm now in my 70's and find that all the years of Minnesota Nice have added up to being a big nothing. As my car-buying experiences of the past year have shown, I am a spineless wimp. It's obviously stamped on my forehead--car dealers take one look at me and know they can walk all over me without fear of objection.
It seems that the only thing that blogging has taught me is that Minnesota Nice only leads to depression and self-loathing. I'm tired of sitting down to blog and not having anything positive to say, but when I vent my feelings, I feel guilty about it. I read other blogs full of insights, energy and peaceful pursuits and wonder what's wrong with me.
I'm a big fan of my home state of Minnesota, especially because all of my kids and grandkids live here. I'm retired but keep busy with puttering, volunteering and writer's groups. I have three well-loved kitties who keep me smiling. I am surrounded by trees and wildlife even though I live within a few miles (as the crow flies) of the state capitol building in downtown St Paul. This keeps me quite contented.