Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I have to admit that I'm not good at following through with my stated goals. For example: I am the sort who is always going to start a diet next Monday; I am always promising myself I'm going to get my desk cleaned off tomorrow; I'm going to get the garage straightened up next weekend, etc.
So, here I go with my 19 postings. May they all be more interesting than this one!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Whoa! Autumn has fallen with a thud! It's cold and windy and my neck is telling me it's time to dig out the turtlenecks and pack away the T-shirts.
I started wearing turtlenecks back in the 80's because of my chronic stiff neck in cold weather. This is not a good look for me with my short neck and stout stature. But, it's the only way I can stay limber in the head-turning department. I also do neck exercises to keep the noggin sitting comfortably on said stout stature.
I have frequented oodles of second-hand thrift stores over the years buying every color of turtleneck shirt. I cut the long sleeves off and then wear the shirt as a shell under under a variety of tops. I like to think of this as my "signature" look. Believe me, this is as fashion-conscious as I ever get.
The cool weather puts me in the mood to make a big pot of soup. Or, maybe do some baking...
So, farewell to a lovely summer.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I had a doctor appointment at 10:00 but didn't wake up until 9:10 so I had to rush. When I was done at the clinic, I went over to Target to get a few things.
As I pushed the big red shopping cart to my car, I used the automatic door-opener gadget on my key chain to pop the trunk. I loaded the bags in the trunk, reached up and slammed the trunk closed. In that brief split second, a mental Boing! made me realize that I had laid the car keys down in the trunk! I desperately dug through my purse to make sure I hadn't absent-mindedly put them inside. No such luck--the keys were inside the trunk, all right.
Well, OK, I have road insurance through AARP just for such occasions. I went back inside the store to the service desk to use the phone. After several minutes I got a service rep on the phone and told her my problem.
"I'm in the parking lot at Target and I can't get into my car."
After an "interview" in which I had to verify every single detail of my personal information, I again explained that I locked my keys in the trunk. When I told her again I was in the parking lot at Target, I needed to explain that Target was a store.
I finally asked, "Are you in the United States?"
"No, I'm in India."
It took a while to narrow down the details of my location so she could figure out where my car was in the middle of a foreign country. She eventually told me the service truck would arrive in 30 minutes and I should wait by the car.
By that time, it was a hot, humid 80 degrees and I wasn't about to spend a half hour standing in the full sun. I waited inside the store for a while, fuming the entire time about Allstate (the provider of roadside insurance for AARP) outsourcing jobs to India.
After 20 minutes, I went back outside to stand next to the car. After a while, I went over and pulled on the door handle and the door opened. Duh! I had absent-mindedly opened the door at the same I opened the trunk.
So, I pushed the trunk-opener button under the dashboard, popped the trunk and retrieved my keys. Feeling sheepish, I went back in the store and called the Allstate 800-number to cancel the service call.
(I wonder if all those Allstate employees in India have health insurance?!)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
With apologies to Kermit the frog, I'm going to post about my Monty Pythonesque treasure.
We were cleaning out the spare bedroom where my little "office" sits huddled in the corner. I have a small bookcase next to my desk where I keep my Thesaurus, Garfield Dictionary and an assortment of grammar books. Next to that is a chunky 70's-style bedside table that I use as a filing cabinet. When we pulled out the table, there was something that looked like a big hairball stuck in the corner next to the bookcase. I picked it up and discovered it was the dessicated body of a long-dead frog.
I held it up and declared, "I have a crunchy frog! A real dead crunchy frog."
For those who were deprived of the glory days when PBS ran the British comedy show Monty Python's Flying Circus, this line comes from a sketch where a health inspector comes to the Whizzo Chocolate Factory to complain about the selections in their Quality Assortment-- Ram's Bladder Cup, Anthrax Ripple and Crunchy Frog. Hilarity ensues. (You can find it easily by googling "Crunchy Frog".)
OK, now that I've got it, what do I do with it? Hmmm, I wonder what it would sell for on ebay?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I made myself some pancakes and covered them with some raspberry "freezer" jam my cousin gave me. I watched Gracie for a while as she crouched down in front of the patio door "stalking" a tiny little mouse wandering around the tomato plants. Then I took a nap.
Then I got to thinking about making an apple pie. Nothing swings me into action like making something tasty. I have a bunch of apples in the fridge that should be used up--especially now that the new crop is coming in. However, I'm debating whether it's too hot to bake.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
I have attended several such occasions in the past and I always wind up being shunted to an alternate location where I watch the proceedings on a TV screen. Now, exciting as being in the moment may be, I would just as soon watch it on my TV at home.
The Target Center is a large venue so I might actually get to be in the same place as the President, but there are a lot of drawbacks. The doors open at 9:30 am but the event doesn't begin until 12:30 pm. There will be an airport-type security search at the door, so no bags (does that mean purses?), umbrellas, sharp objects, signs, strollers or liquids.
I'm really concerned about the liquid restriction. Where am I going to get water? Anyone who knows me, knows that I am never without a bottle of water. Surely I will perish of thirst if I'm deprived of refreshment for hours and hours. I'm getting thirsty just thinking about it!
I guess I'll stay home and stay hydrated. I hope the President doesn't mind.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I read online today that my dear friend, Garrison Keillor, is in the Mayo Clinic where he's being treated for a minor stroke. They say he should be OK and back to work pretty soon. Now I admit that he doesn't know who I am, but nevertheless he is a very dear friend of mine.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
After I looked at the picture, I thought it looked pretty good. If I tried harder, I'll bet I could make it really artsy. Of course, Art is in the eye of the beholder and those are our very own tomatoes grown from seeds and lovingly tended since the beginning of the year--so, naturally I think they're just gorgeous.
We have been through a lot together, those tomatoes and I--from little seed cups under UV lights, to transplanting into bigger containers plus mfore frequent feeding and watering. And then the day in May when they finally went outside into their big pots in the sunshine! We pampered them with more feedings and waterings. We bought them cages to support their stems and kept them pruned. There were the long, harsh days of the drought and sunshine followed by the rainy spell with all the cloudy, rainy days. Unseasonably cool nights slowed their progress but they struggled on.
(Now, the 20 cent package of tomato seeds was a bargain. But the special lights, all the pots and potting soil, plant food, tomato cages, etc. have added up to a tidy sum. It doesn't appear we will wind up with more than 20 tomatoes, but that will be enough to share.)
Despite it all, these few valiant tomatoes now grace my table with their bright colors and their tempting, home-grown juicy goodness.
Now, excuse me while I go eat a $5 tomato...
Friday, September 4, 2009
- DUMB-DOPE PEABODY!!
This was the worst possible thing we could call a sibling. The offended child might well respond with, "I'm gonna tell Mom!" Fortunately, Mom was oblivious to the foul-mouthed implications of Peabody, so we still got away with it.
My parents' "expletives" were equally mild. Mom, being of Norwegian descent, would often say Ufta (oops) or Ishta (gross). She was also fond of using Ofers, as in: "Oh for dumb" or "Oh for cute!" Her favorite expressions were, "Oh, for Pete's sake!" and "Hon-est-ly!"
Dad would poke fun at Mom by doodling pictures of goofy-looking guys and labeling them Pete or Honest Lee. Dad's cussing consisted of, "Holy Smut!", "Son of a Gun", "Blame it!" or "Bunch of Hooey."
It seems rather sad that we have become much coarser people over the decades. And, it makes you wonder--where the heck will it all end?!!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
I've actually been trying to sort through old file folders and reduce the clutter in my little corner. What throws me off is that I have to read everything before I can decide whether to keep it or not. Add to that my chronic indecisiveness and you have the "perfect storm" of inertia. My desk is piled high with old humorous emails that I have preserved for posterity. Such as:
Hello, welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
- If your are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
- If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want, to just stay on the line while we trace your call.
- If you're schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you're manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
I just realized that in the 15 years or so since I received this, I have become more sensitive about the issue of mental illness. It's not nearly as funny as it used to be.
And so, into the recycling it goes. One down, several hundred to go...